Life after tech school can be a bit of an adjustment. He is settling back into the real world and getting used to being out of training mode, while you are remembering what it’s like to live with someone else.
Personally, I got really used to my space and my own life, and while having my husband back in my everyday life was amazing, it was also an adjustment. Some things about him had changed and some things about me had changed. But we adjusted and settled into our new home and our new state together.
Here are a few tips to help you settle back into life together.
1. Be patient
This may seem obvious, but it’s also harder than you might think. Like I said before, you’ve both gotten used to very different world: yours maybe had a little more freedom, while his had a little less. It will take some time for him to feel normal again.
Jeremy came out of tech school, constantly paranoid of doing something wrong. He was stressed and high strung constantly. It was hard to get him to relax, but after some time he settled back into a normal routine.
2. It’s not about you
I struggled quite a bit with this one. He had been gone for so long and even though I had spent time with him at Tech School, he was a different person there and I didn’t really see him that often. So when he came home at the end of it, I wanted to spend every second with him. But so did his family.
Try to keep in mind that if your spouse comes home between Tech School and your first duty station, he may want to spend time with his friends and family. He’s going to see you every day for the rest of his life, but he doesn’t necessarily know when he’s going to see his friends and family again. Give him some space.
3. Don’t count on his help
This one sort of piggy backs off the last one. When you’re getting ready to move, especially if you’re moving yourselves, don’t count on his help during that time. Be prepared to do a lot of the work by yourself. Not because he doesn’t care, but because he’s busy spending time with loved ones and saying goodbye to friends.
Don’t get mad at him or hold a grudge for it, just be prepared for it. If he is super helpful, that’s awesome and you should be thankful for it, but don’t expect it. You can do it by yourself! I believe in you!
4. Enjoy your time together
Most importantly, enjoy each other’s company. Life is going to be crazy for the next few weeks, months, or years and every second together is precious. Spend time with his friends and family, spend time with your friends and family. Don’t forget that you’re moving away too.
Good luck with everything!